It Happens.....

This has been one of those "purging" weeks. Every now and then, I go on a rampage and "purge" stuff out of my life. It began with the kitchen, filled 4 boxes of stuff I never use, and put that in the "abyss" that I call my garage in hopes I will finally have that "garage sale".

Then last night, I began in my closet. Oh heavens, where do you begin. Let's start with the blue jeans, hmmmm, I will never be that size again, toss those, that was my "trauma trim" era. Oh look, the 80's called and they want their denim leggings back, toss. Yikes, did I really fill out those jeans, toss, better not EVER be that size again. And what was I thinking when I bought that dress? Where the heck will I ever wear that, the prom? And why are all my work clothes "black and white"? Hmmm. Always check all pockets before discarding...yeah, found $10.00. And then you stumble upon the box of "him" containing the photographs, the jewelry, the cards and letters, the dried roses and the teddy bear he recorded his voice on.....and you pause.....sitting crosslegged on your closet floor and smile.....and realize that he was just another chapter in this book called life and as Kenny Chesney said so well, "I was better as a memory than as your man" . True dat! Now I have 5 more boxes to drag downstairs to the Abyss.

Then tonight, I cleaned out my car. Holy mother of pearl, it looked like a vietnamese refuge camp in there. For those of you that know me, I am always on the go. Thus, my car also doubles as my office/closet.
By the end of the week, there are at least 5 coffee cups clinking into one another on the floorboard of the passenger side and usually a tube of mascara or lip gloss rolling around my ankles. My makeup bag usually sits on the passenger seat along with my appointment book, cell phone and ATM card. Makeup is usually applied in the driveway before putting car in reverse on extra busy mornings. Tonight, I removed 3 dresses, 4 pairs of high heels, 2 pairs of pantyhose, my retainer case, gym clothes, a christmas present and one Ugg boot from the back seat. You see, often times I don't have time to go home and change, so I have to change in my car depending on where my next destination is. I also keep a duffle bag stuffed with jeans, sweatshirts, and flip flops handy as back-up clothing. Oh, and the book I am supposed to be reading for Book Club is buried beneath this pile of clothing.

Also on the passenger seat (where sometimes Chelsea gets to sit, when she sweeps everything off to the floor) is a pile of last week's mail, Mr. Moto's sweatshirt, chopsticks, 2 broken finger nails, 3 pairs of sunglasses, and OMG, wadded up in aluminum foil is the other half of the Costco hot dog I ate on Sunday..............

The Mammo

It's that fun time of year again, squish, squish. Don't get me wrong these are soooo important, and today, my mammo brought an extra giggle. Normally I wouldn't blog about this, but while changing into my pj's, I found this odd sticker on my body where the "girls" are. Apparently, when you have a mole in that region, they mark it with a band-aid type sticker, however, my technician forgot to remove it and I went home with an unknown souvenior. Imagine my surprise when I found it. WTF is this on my body???? and how did it get here?? OH, that's right, I had my mammo today. For those of you who have never had one or never will :) yes MEN do read this blog, let me describe in two different scenarios what one feels like.

First, open up your refrigerator door and place your breast in side. Now slam it shut, put all your weight on it and hold for five seconds. Repeat with other breast.

OR

Visit your garage at approximately 3:00 AM when the concrete floor is nice and cold. Take off all your warm clothes and position yourself comfortably on the floor and wedge your left breast under the rear tire of your car. Ask a friend to to slowly back up your car until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat on other breast.

There now you too are prepared for your first mammogram.

P.S. I think a man invented this machine.

I Tried

Someone asked me this week to share a personal story about Michael. And I got to thinking, you are right, it's time. It's time to share the Michael I knew and not the one presented to you by the media. So last night I wrote about one of my fondest memories with Michael Jackson.

About an encounter that brought a smile to my face, made me giggle out loud and even happy tears. I even published it on my blog and went to bed. But then, I couldn't stop thinking about that story and that moment we shared and then realized that was MY moment and MY memory. It was the ONE that if I could put "time in a bottle", that would be it. I got up and turned the computer back on and took it off my blog. Cause you see, that one is mine, all mine and for now, I just want to keep it safe in my heart. It is still very difficult for me to accept that he is gone, it is easier just to pretend that he is just off on yet another tour. He was larger than life....but then they broke his spirit, he lost his beloved home, and then he lost his way, but one thing they willl NEVER do, is take away my memories. Those are untouchable. Someday, I promise, someday...

After Shock

.....is how to describe what I am feeling right now. Someone very dear to me has received some devastating news that has turned their world upside down. Out of respect for their privacy, we will just call them "friend" because that is what they are to me in the truest sense of the word. One of the "best".

We spoke yesterday for over an hour and a half and we hashed it out, all the possibilities and the what if's. We laughed and we cried. It's not gonna be easy, but we will do it.

WE WILL BEAT THIS! Remember, we are just taking a detour, on this road we call life. Six months from now, I will be sitting on your porch again handing out halloween candy to all those little MJ impersonators and eating chicken pot pie with you!

Remember every movie has its lousy parts, and sometimes you have to fast forward thru them. So I bestow upon you the Remote, my friend. You have the power now, I am counting on you, cause there are just too many garage sales left to conquer and Mattas tacos left to eat!

We've been thru so much together, we're not gonna let this curve ball get in our way. We are gonna bat this one right out of the park.

As always, day or night, I'll be there for you, cause you've gotta friend.......

Who knew

There were 2 things I promised myself at 11:49 PM on New Years Eve. I didn't mention them in the Happy New Year! post, they were too personal.

Both promises have come true.

just saying. thought you should know.

Hmmmmm. Giggling from the inside out.

To All of You

who read this blog....THANK YOU .... for the comments, the texts, the emails and the phone calls..... i love y0u......what a journey and the best is yet to come. GROUP HUG to you all!

Can you say Adam Lambert?

For those of you who don't know......I am a HUGE Adam Lambert fan.

He was my pick from day one. He has what I call in this industry, the "it" factor....

We need more like him.

Hopefully, he can breathe some life into these current Idol contestants.

Sing, Adam, Sing.

Grapes of Wrath

Chelsea's next performance. Chel will play 3 different men in this production in addition to singing. Hope you can make it....

Let's Face It!

Ok, you asked for it, you got it! Here is the way you TOO can grow a new face.....

You begin in an exam room with a very nice nurse named Jennifer and her Luvelan Kerastick. Prior to beginning procedure, Jennifer cleans your face with acetone, the stuff that takes finger nail polish off, and also causes you to get high off it when applied around your face. Then Jennifer colors your face with luvelan stick, your entire face. You then have to wait 90 minutes before they put you in the blue machine which
Dr. O has named Roxie. Now this is where the fun begins. You will spend 17 minutes inside "Roxie" wearing swimmer's goggles. Jennifer will check on you every 3 minutes until done. She turns it on and leaves the room. Ok, this isn't so bad, minute number 1.....ummmm....ok now is this really supposed to be stinging? Minute 3, Jennifer pops in...how you doing.....well, I say it is stinging pretty bad, similar to people poking needles in every pore of my face. Well she says "Tracy, you have DECADES of sun damage, so this is going to hurt" Minute number 4, I now believe I am being sandblasted w/ needles and the intensity of the heat is about 115 degrees. I say to myself, come on you can do it.....they give you 2 small hand fans to blow onto your face during the 17 minute burn off to cool down the heat. This was the day that genius me decided to wear a neck scarf which u guessed it got sucked up in the fan. Scream for help, but no one can hear you because the staff can't be in the same room when "Roxi" is on. Unravel favorite scarf from fan and resume position of face 4 inches from the incinerator. Intensity is building, ok Trace, take yourself to your Happy Place....not working.....don't think about the fact that you are now 7 minutes into this and feel like someone has poured battery acid on your face. Jennifer pops in, "you are halfway thru" ... I used to like Jennifer until Minute 7, she is tooo cheerful and has perfect skin, we hate her. She is no longer my friend. Holy Mother of God, I must be on fire, I can hear my skin burning off, sounds like rice crispies. Minute 12, in pops Jennifer....how you doing.......I don't answer. All brain cells have been destroyed. Perhaps I could apply for the next "Nightmare on Elm Street" movie and play the role of Freddie Krueger after what Jennifer and her burning machine have done. "Two minutes to go" she yells from outside the door, it may have well have been 2 more days. Finally, the machine shuts off and I think Aaaaahhhh, now the burning will stop. I DON'T THINK SO........FIRE..........Jennifer looks at my RED, SWOLLEN face and says "oh my", I'll be right back, and informs me to continue using the cooling fans on it until she returns. She enters the room with a washcloth folded in quarters, cold and wet directly from the freezer. She said apply this to your face. I swear I would have paid her ONE MILLION dollars for that cold cloth. I felt steam come off it, after several more washcloths, we finally had to put my face in a sink of cold water. Apparently, the fairer and more skin damage you have the worse this procedure is. Finally, they were able to take the sting out with medicine. Now you go home with a wide brimmed hat and sunglasses to stay out of sun/daylight for 48 hours. Of course, as luck would have it my 45 minute drive home was directly into the sun. So with one hand I held down the brim of my hat and with the other, stradled the console in my car to avoid direct light. Because people, when any light hits your face, it is the equivalent of salt being thrown on a snail. The burning will start all over again. So that's it, I am on day 5 and look like a peeling snake. At the one month mark, I should have skin as smooth as a baby's behind.

Face Update 2

Have you ever seen a snake shed its skin? Well now you can see a human, even make up can't hide the crispy flakes. When I touch my face anywhere, it feels like dried shriveled up fish scales. And it is on this day that Mr. Moto wants to introduce me to his mother for the very first time. AAARRRRRGGGHHH.

Andy's mom is an absolute darling woman, I got to know her while watching my peeling skin floating so elequently off my forhead onto my lips as we spoke. Great first impression.

I have since been told that I passed the test.....mom approves, scaly face and all!

Face Update

I feel like someone set my face on fire and then tried to put it out with 40 grit sandpaper. But now I can begin healing..... no sunlight for 48 hours.....crawling back into bat cave now.

Sunshine on my shoulders........

and my face..............tomorrow, I go thru PDT (photodynamic therapy) to rid myself of all the sun damage I earned while a youngin' in beautiful sunny Arizona. I am now certain tanning in baby oil was maybe not the best of ideas, but who knew? At least we have caught it in the pre cancer stage. However, on Tuesday, I will have a process done that will basically "peel" away the damage. However, there is a price to pay for this. NO SUN FOR 48 HOURS. Holy mother of pearl, that is nearly impossible for me. I need to wear sunglasses and a large brimmed hat after the procedure just to get to my car in the parking lot. It is then that I and my RED, SWOLLEN, SCABBY face will enter the witness protection program for a month. Yes, folks I am going under - ground til I grow a new face.....or perhaps I could go with the

"chewbacca"

look.

Easter Weekend

Peeps, Marshmellows, and Bunnies, oh my! Loved, absolutely loved this weekend. My daughter, Carla and Alan had the fam over for a delicious Easter Breakfast. It dawned on me while watching her cook, with friends and family gathered, that my daughter was now carrying on the traditions I had begun with my children. It was one of those kodak moments that only a mom could understand and quietly beam with pride.



Easter Eve was spent with very special friends, Patty and Larry P, their children and grandchildren at El Capitan Beach campground. We go back over 25 years and I have to tell you, this is one incredible family. Families as close as this are so few and far between in this day and age. In such a crazy fast paced world, it is sooo refreshing to see families spend time together as they do. Scrumptious BBQ, great stories and many, many laughs around the campfire while enjoying s'mores. Sometimes, it really is the simple things in life that mean the most. Oh and P.S....it was in Patty's kitchen that I met Mr. Moto....

Happy Peep and Chocolate Bunny Weekend!

It's that time again to stuff ourselves with marshmellow peeps and chocolate bunnies.
Yummy!