Counting down

8 days til Chelsea graduates.

53 days til Carla's wedding.

Oh my.

Where have I been?

Well, its a tale of two homes and I really don't even know where to start...other than the good news is I am back at a computer keyboard, with lots of blogging material and I miss you guys!

Sadly, I have joined the other bizillion people that have lost their homes. So for the last 3 weeks, I have been moving twenty years of "stuff" from my two-story, four bedroom home.....box by box, tear by tear (sniff) into my new place. Emotionally, it has NOT been easy, but it is what it is and life goes on, so put your big girl panties on and deal with it!

Let me begin with DAY ONE at my new digs. I awake at 5:30 a.m. to have a garage sale. As I have an interview later that day, I jump in the shower to wash my hair. Five minutes into the shower, a horrific noise begins. Gads, what the hell is that noise???? The plumbing? Nope. It was the LOUDEST "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I have ever heard! I jump out of the shower to discover...it is the smoke alarm. Apparently, the steam from my shower set it off. No problem, I will just wave some pillows at it until it stops. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That's not working. Mind you, I am dripping wet and the noise is deafening. I grab a chair and try to reach the ceiling (I am on the 2nd floor of the house next to the staircase). No go. Too short. I know the neighbors can hear this shrill noise and I can't make it stop. Naked, I run down stairs to the garage to find a screwdriver or a hammer or both in this case. Back upstairs, on the chair, still can't make the blasted thing stop screaming! I am now standing on the iron staircase railing, holding on with one arm and smashing the smoke alarm with a hammer. If the fire department arrives right now, I swear to you I will just die....Forget the hammer, I'll just pick it off the ceiling with a screwdriver....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I am waving madly at it like I am weilding an icepick! The noise is absolutely ear splitting, I swear it gets louder the long it is on. I am like a mad woman stabbing thin air. Finally it comes off the ceiling momentarily but it won't stop screaming. What the hell, is it possessed? It is still plugged in! With all the strength I can muster, with one wet left hand, and balancing myself on top of the stair rail with the other, I yank the thing out of the ceiling and fling it across the room. Ahhhh, suddenly, there is peace. And there I am, naked as a jaybird, balancing myself on the stairs. Soaking wet hair, can't even remember if I rinsed out the conditioner, but don't have time now, garage sale starts in 10 minutes....so off I go. Later as my hair dries to the consistency of straw, I discover the stuff I thought was conditioner in the shower was really body lotion........ but me and my straw hair made it to the interview and by gosh it went well!

(p.s. the deceased smoke alarm is still laying on the floor, three weeks later :)

"Oh and Dad, I promise to fix the smoke alarm and thanks for letting me come home....again"

WHERE'S THE BLOG?

Dear Blog Follower in Arizona (you know who you are)

This one's for you!

Thank you so much for your inquiry and yes I've been feeling like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz lately.....if I only had a brain.......

It's because of caring people like you, that encourage me to write even when things are tough.

So sit back PB, read on and enjoy the post below.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TITLE THIS STORY

A funny thing happened while at the beach yesterday.....

Mr. Moto and I were flaked out on the sand, enjoying an absolutely gorgeous day. I'm lying on my back and I reach down to adjust my new bikini bottom. As I reach in on the inside of my right hip, I feel a sharp stab. I immediately flinch and try to withdraw my hand quickly, only to feel resistance and a searing and piercing pain. What the hell? Why won't my hand come out of my bikini? I sit up immediately and realize I have caught my thumb on something inside the bikini and it won't budge. As I look down, I see that I have "fish hooked" my thumb to my bikini. Apparently, there was LARGE staple where the price tag was and in my haste to get dressed I had not removed it, thus impaling said staple thru my thumb and attaching it to my bikini bottom. I could see where the staple entered and then ran under the skin the width of my thumb and came out the other side. OMG. I cannot get my hand out of my pants. Panic. I glance again and the bleeding begins. I wake the napping Mr. Moto.

"Andy, can you help me. My hand is stuck to my bikini bottom". He sits up and surveys the situation........trying with all he's got not too laugh. Crap, it hurts and now there is more blood. Get it out I scream! We are both on our knees facing each other trying to figure out what to do. We can't pull the staple out because it is in the fish hook position in my thumb and will rip the skin apart. We can see where it went in and where it came out. It is in deep. So picture the scene. Both of us on our knees, with our hands in my bikini trying to maneuver the staple. Andy's plan is to remove staple from bikini first, freeing my hand and then remove staple from my thumb. As gently as he can he is trying with his man hands to pick out the staple from the bikini..........however, he may as well of had lobster claws for hands. We tried using my car keys to lift bent end of staple but too no avail. Then we tried using sunglasses and anything else we could find on our beach towel, bottle caps, my fingernails. Every time he tried to unbend it, I winced. (come on Trace, be tough, this is Mr. Moto you are with....who has broken more bones than I'm sure he can count, been helivacted, survived punctured lungs and being run over by motorcycles ) and you are whimpering over an impaled staple. Suck it up, girl!!! And then I notice people are now staring. Because this does look pretty perverted. Man with hand in girl's bikini, using car keys and sunglasses and girl screaming out loud....."stop, it hurts". I can only imagine what these people are thinking. And now I am thinking about parading down the beach with my hand stuck in my pants en route to the ER to get this damn staple removed from my thumb. Or I could take off the bikini bottom that is attached to my thumb and look like an exhibitionist and stride down the beach bottomless clenching it in my hand. Those were my two options. After about 5 grueling minutes, gaping stares by on lookers and me now hyperventilating, Mr. Moto is finally able to unhook the bikini from the staple, thus leaving me with a free arm but with a the complete staple still embedded through my thumb. Mr. Moto then grabs the projecting part of the staple, tells me to "bite the bullet", yanks it in a fish hook shaped motion and rips (yes, I said ripped) the staple from my thumb and throws it into the sand like it was a poisonous snake. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHWWWWW, I scream.

Really? Did we have to do it like that? Now pass me a beer. I poured a few drops on the wound, drank the rest and resumed my position in the sand. Just another day at the beach...........

No More Pine Valley and Llanview?

ABC announced that it will cancel two long running soap operas this year. It's the end of the road for All My Children which debuted in 1970 and One Life to Life which hit the air in 1968. I cannot tell you how many hot arizona summers I spent glued to those shows while babysitting, earning a whopping .50 cents an hour. I would end the afternoon with GH (General Hospital) with a belly full of Pepsi (don't think diet had been invented), a can of bean dip and a bag of fritos.

Of course it's a money thing, it cost $30 million more a year to produce soaps than it does to produce talk shows. So now its time to kiss AMC and OLTL goodbye. How do you write an ending for a show that's been around for more than 40 years? Whats the best way to pull the plug on Erica Kane and Vicki Buchanan? When "Little House on the Prairie" ended, they blew up Walnut Grove....I am still not over that. Perhaps they can all turn into Vampires, or maybe everyone from Pine Valley can move to Port Charles and get jobs at General Hospital or Ruby's Diner. Or maybe they could all just wake up and find out it was all a dream like J.R. Ewing on Dallas.

Thank you ABC for the memories. Those soaps were a huge part of my teen years, my "having my babies" years and sweet memories of my mom taking a break after her housework was done to enjoy her "soaps". Thanks for laughter, the tears and the cliff hangers.

I leave you now with one of the most memorable moments from One Life to Life - below

One Life to Live: Karen takes the witness stand

R U Kidding Me?

So the black cloud has now turned into a thunderstorm, complete with tennis ball sized hail. I feel like I am holding an umbrella that has turned inside out.

But hey, what usually follows such a storm? The beautiful warm sun and sometimes a rainbow.

So bring it.

The Black Cloud

Ever have one of those weeks where you have one of these following you around?

I swear if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all!

Watch Chelsea LIVE

Santa Barbara Idol sold out...BUT....you can catch it live by going to the following website at 7:00 PM Pacific time (Friday, April 8) and catch Chelsea compete. She will be 8th in the line up of 10.

www.ustream.tv/channel/sb-teen-star

Thanks for your support.

Whew

So tomorrow is Friday and I have made it thru the first week. Alvin, Simon and Theodore have been really awesome! I arrived dressed up in a skirt and blouse, hose, bling and high heels.....everyone else was wearing casual wear, apparently I did not get the memo. While walking across the vast estate to the office, my heels aerated the front lawn and at one point, one shoe stuck in the lawn really deep, but my leg kept going. Had to turn around and retrieve my shoe, I'm sure that was a visual and have you ever tried to walk on a cobblestone driveway in stillettos? That my friends, takes talent!

Lots to learn here, but loving it so far.

FINALLY

DRUM ROLL..

After MANY interviews, a handful of written tests, hundreds of miles, applications too many to count, and one new suit......I have returned to the work force and back to the industry

I love best.

ENTERTAINMENT!

Click on the link to meet my new employer.

www.chipmunks.com

Interviews, Interviews, and Tests, oh my!

Busy and exciting week. Two HUGE (second) interviews this week, both on same day. These are for "personal assistant" positions for high profile individuals in Montecito and then my first test (in a series of three) in my new field on Friday. Hmmmmm.

Chelsea's play "You can't take it with you" opens this week on Thursday for a 6 night run.

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And then there was the white feather I found where I least expected it....yep mom, it's all coming together. Thanks for the sign!

SHE MADE IT!

After her recent 6 hour audition, our Ms. Chel has been invited to attend the prestigious Pacific Conservatory of Performing Arts. She is sooooooo excited!

She wants to live on or near campus and starts school on August 16th. She can't wait to begin this new experience and we are so darn proud! sniff sniff.

Congrat's Chel!

"funemployment"

So it's been 53 days since I was laid off, but whose counting? I've officially joined the "405" club, that's the amount of unemployment I would receive weekly, however, I do NOT qualify as I was "self employed". Don't even get me started on the people I know who receive benefits and don't even look for jobs....

I honestly thought I'd have found a job by now. I am now one of the over 9% unemployed statistic. I couldn't have picked a worse time to be looking for a job, other than the "great depression". My resume goes into cyberspace daily, and every now and then I get a nibble. I've had three interviews, one for a position that didn't exist, one where I was told, "you are way overqualified and would be bored", and the last one is the beginning of many interviews required to work for a "high-profile" person.

Yesterday really brought a visual to light. I applied for a "judicial assistant" position and was invited to test for it at the Courthouse. I am not lying, when I arrived, I joined 57 other applicants for this ONE position. And honestly, I stopped counting at 57. We all sat in the court room with clipboards and took a written test. (and yes it was the court room where my trial took place) That was at 12 noon. At 4 PM, another set of applicants will also apply. I had no idea how saturated the job market was with applicants until I actually saw all of us at that one testing. From twenty somethings to retirees.

I am however exploring options outside of my personal assistant background. I will be taking tests in this new field in the next few weeks. I'm not saying what field it is, I don't want to jinx it. But it is something where there is never a dull moment, as I thrive on chaos, right?

Update **** I was just notified that I passed my 25 PAGE background check for the new field I am interested in and my tests have been scheduled. Stay tuned. (I began this journey last November!)

Double Update ***** A tip for all of you job applicants. While interviewing yesterday via phone, right in the middle of the conversation, the interviewer exclaims " Oh there you are" . They had searched for me on FACEBOOK and my profile popped up. She continued interviewing me while browsing my FB. So be aware, ANYTHING you post can show up to a potential employer. Luckily, my pages are pretty tame, but gads, what some people post would never get them hired!!

So that's the wrap up on my "fun employment" search. At least I haven't reach the level of some, who are helping themselves to rolls of toilet paper via gas stations and restaurants, or hoarding catchup or mustard..........but I have taken a few extra sugar packets lately from McDonalds.. Is that how it starts???
Have a good day y'all. Time for lappie and I to send off a few more resumes....to infinity and beyond!

SHE MADE THE TOP TEN FINALISTS!

Sunday night brought us GREAT NEWS! Chelsea made the TOP 10 FINALISTS in Santa Barbara Teen Idol! Hope you'll join us and celebrity judges KENNY LOGGINS and JIMMY MESSINA on Friday, April 8th. ........../.Way to go Chel!

Audition, Audition...

Whew, what a weekend. Chelsea had back to back auditions. Saturday took us to Santa Barbara to try out for Santa Barbara Teen Idol........where just two hours before we discovered they needed two 5x7 COLOR headshots and we, of course, had 2 8x10 BLACK AND WHITE headshot pictures. Thank goodness for CVS and their Kodak "instant" picture machine! And bright and early Sunday took us to Santa Maria where she had her callback audition for Pacific Conservatory of Dramatic Arts. This audition went from 9 til 3 and she should hear in about two weeks. Over 7o students auditioned today, with only 35 available spots. Keep your toes and fingers crossed! That #21 should bring us luck!

Hair Raisin

Yesterday, I had a hair appointment. It was time to hide those grey hairs and color the fire break that had appeared in the center part of my head. My friend Heather, who owns a salon and I trade services with.....I organize her......she cuts my hair.......began the monster task of coloring and weaving my hair.

We had just applied color when it happened. It was 4:50 pm, and the power went out. It came back on a minute later, and then went out for good. No problem, still daylight, we could still see and besides we were sure it would come back on again any moment, so we began putting the foil in my hair to weave in the highlights. Foils are in, time to process. Hmmmm, its been over an hour now, no power. I sit in the salon with foil head waiting. Anyone that has had this process knows that normally you are put under a dryer to speed up the "processing", i.e. making the bleach they have just put on your hair work. After 45 minutes and daylight diminishing, Heather begins to get worried. Checks the foils, nothing happening, no "lifting" of color yet. We need heat..........hmmm, I have an idea. I'll jump in my car and turn on my heater full blast and stick my foil head into the vents. Yeah, that should work. So the two of us, jump in my car with the heater on to "process" my hair. Still nothing. We then decide to go check on something...(that's an entirely different chapter) and do a "drive by" on something. So off I drive, foils in head, salon cape still wrapping my body like a moo-moo and no shoes. We drive to our location trying to be in cognito and observe. I pull into the "do not enter" part of the park-and-ride and proceed forward..............right into a busload of people who have just been dropped off......it is the equivalent of a salmon swimming upstream. I am traveling 3 mph and Heather has now slithered down to the floor of the passenger seat. Not only am I going the wrong way against oncoming cars, I have been reduced to a mile an hour to drive through the people. They just stared. I look like I have escaped perhaps from a prison salon. Hair full of foil and a beauty cape around my neck. Heather is now peeing per pants. I just nod and wave as if to say, what are you looking at, this is totally normal.....for me....at least. We finish our stake out and head back to the salon. It is now completely dark, Heather is very worried about my hair now. We use the interior lights on my car to check its status. Almost there she says. We arrive at the black salon to take the foils out. Heather lights the one and only candle she has and then I remember that "flashlight app" I had downloaded on my phone. So there we are, me holding my flashlight above my head while she rinses out the chemicals. Unable to really see the results, and unable to blow dry my hair, I head to my darkened home. Chel and I eat dinner (leftovers) by candlelight and then climb in my bed and luckily my "lappie" still has power and we insert Toy Story 3 and hunker down for the night.

Today, I see my hair for the first time......I have an interview today at 1:00 pm.....OMG.

Who poured the Clorox on my head?

Scenes from the Weekend

fried calamari ........yum

sharing a glass of reisling

the track

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the guy

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the rain

Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper

This baby is laughing as her father tears up his job "rejection" letter. Hey, I've got a few she can tear up!! Ya just gotta laugh!