I cannot stress enough how excited I am for Spring to arrive. These past few days of beach weather have been welcomed like a check from Publishers Clearing House. But, and regrettably there is a but. With Spring comes the multi legged friggin creepy crawlers that seriously disturb me to the core.
My phobia goes back as far as I can remember. My fear of grasshoppers and praying mantis.
It's really serious. Serious to the point that I have literally jumped and cleared a 3 foot hedge while being chased by my X (he claimed he had one cupped in his hand) and then jumped into my neighbor's open mini van to get away from him and the grasshopper. Now you know why he's the X. Don't EVER taunt me with a grasshopper. You will PAY!!! I have also leapt off a 5 foot tall retaining wall while holding gardening shears (and screaming like a banchi indian) to escape a flying grasshopper that got tangled in my hair, forget the fact that I could have impaled myself on these shears when I landed, but I had to get that friggin grasshopper off of me. I then ran in the house, ripped off all clothing, inspected myself in the mirror and then jumped in the shower to wash off its essence. Terrified I would find it in my hair while shampooing. I can still hear that buzzing sound.....
Yes, I realize that a phobia is indeed an irrational fear. However, I cannot get over it. And I have now officially been told by my sister, that the grasshoppers are back, they were spotted just this week in her yard (I won't be going over there real soon.)
It's time to strap on the exterminator suit and start spraying the hell out of everything that will stand still.
My phobia goes back as far as I can remember. My fear of grasshoppers and praying mantis.
It's really serious. Serious to the point that I have literally jumped and cleared a 3 foot hedge while being chased by my X (he claimed he had one cupped in his hand) and then jumped into my neighbor's open mini van to get away from him and the grasshopper. Now you know why he's the X. Don't EVER taunt me with a grasshopper. You will PAY!!! I have also leapt off a 5 foot tall retaining wall while holding gardening shears (and screaming like a banchi indian) to escape a flying grasshopper that got tangled in my hair, forget the fact that I could have impaled myself on these shears when I landed, but I had to get that friggin grasshopper off of me. I then ran in the house, ripped off all clothing, inspected myself in the mirror and then jumped in the shower to wash off its essence. Terrified I would find it in my hair while shampooing. I can still hear that buzzing sound.....
Yes, I realize that a phobia is indeed an irrational fear. However, I cannot get over it. And I have now officially been told by my sister, that the grasshoppers are back, they were spotted just this week in her yard (I won't be going over there real soon.)
It's time to strap on the exterminator suit and start spraying the hell out of everything that will stand still.
You know I hate bugs too! The ONLY good thing about bugs coming out in the heat.....it's good for the bug business!!!!
ReplyDeletePerhaps the phobia is from the time the AZ had the swarm in the summer
ReplyDeleteThe only way to help rid of a phobia is gradual and repeated exposure...........