Once upon a time...

Sometimes, I think too much. It's not worrying, but more of overthinking. Is that a word?

As you know, I used to have a life that was tied up in a tidy little package with a big shiny bow. Or so I thought. My home was my nest, where I raised my family and made my house a home. That's all I ever knew. I spent more years married than not. Almost 30 to be exact. I loved the role of being a wife and a mom. I was content and felt safe.

But then I learned, nothing is forever. My path changed. I had to learn who I was, once the role of wife and homemaker was gone. And dang, what a discovery! I have done some incredible things these last five years. It's been a like a rollercoaster at times, the highs and the lows. Those wild turns and stomach dropping moments. Moments that took my breath away, while others made me scream outloud. And all this at almost fifty. I think I've experienced more in these last five years, than most people do in a lifetime.

You see I'm a planner. I'm organized, heck, I organize other people's lives for a living. But now my future doesn't look the way I thought it would be....back when it had that bow on it and all. Being able to bounce back is one thing, but not knowing your future is another. Having said that, it's not that life isn't good now, it's just I thought I had an E-ticket instead of the fast pass I got on Mr. Toad's wild ride.

I thought I would have the fairy tale ending. But in reality, I don't have a clue how my "story" will end. And that is what gnaws at me the most. That's hard for me. The unknown. I've been sooo focused lately on the "skip-to-the-last-chapter-of-my-life-because I need to know NOW" thing , that I am not living in the present. And that is not good.

No more obsessing on my 'happily ever after". If I keep focusing on that, I'll miss the whole rest of the story and those could be some of the best chapters in my book of life! As they say, it's not the destination, it's the journey.

So, let me begin starting now, untie the ribbon, step out of the box ~ its a new day.