Where have I been?

Well, its a tale of two homes and I really don't even know where to start...other than the good news is I am back at a computer keyboard, with lots of blogging material and I miss you guys!

Sadly, I have joined the other bizillion people that have lost their homes. So for the last 3 weeks, I have been moving twenty years of "stuff" from my two-story, four bedroom home.....box by box, tear by tear (sniff) into my new place. Emotionally, it has NOT been easy, but it is what it is and life goes on, so put your big girl panties on and deal with it!

Let me begin with DAY ONE at my new digs. I awake at 5:30 a.m. to have a garage sale. As I have an interview later that day, I jump in the shower to wash my hair. Five minutes into the shower, a horrific noise begins. Gads, what the hell is that noise???? The plumbing? Nope. It was the LOUDEST "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I have ever heard! I jump out of the shower to discover...it is the smoke alarm. Apparently, the steam from my shower set it off. No problem, I will just wave some pillows at it until it stops. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That's not working. Mind you, I am dripping wet and the noise is deafening. I grab a chair and try to reach the ceiling (I am on the 2nd floor of the house next to the staircase). No go. Too short. I know the neighbors can hear this shrill noise and I can't make it stop. Naked, I run down stairs to the garage to find a screwdriver or a hammer or both in this case. Back upstairs, on the chair, still can't make the blasted thing stop screaming! I am now standing on the iron staircase railing, holding on with one arm and smashing the smoke alarm with a hammer. If the fire department arrives right now, I swear to you I will just die....Forget the hammer, I'll just pick it off the ceiling with a screwdriver....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, I am waving madly at it like I am weilding an icepick! The noise is absolutely ear splitting, I swear it gets louder the long it is on. I am like a mad woman stabbing thin air. Finally it comes off the ceiling momentarily but it won't stop screaming. What the hell, is it possessed? It is still plugged in! With all the strength I can muster, with one wet left hand, and balancing myself on top of the stair rail with the other, I yank the thing out of the ceiling and fling it across the room. Ahhhh, suddenly, there is peace. And there I am, naked as a jaybird, balancing myself on the stairs. Soaking wet hair, can't even remember if I rinsed out the conditioner, but don't have time now, garage sale starts in 10 minutes....so off I go. Later as my hair dries to the consistency of straw, I discover the stuff I thought was conditioner in the shower was really body lotion........ but me and my straw hair made it to the interview and by gosh it went well!

(p.s. the deceased smoke alarm is still laying on the floor, three weeks later :)

"Oh and Dad, I promise to fix the smoke alarm and thanks for letting me come home....again"